4 Ways You Can Get Over Your Need for Acceptance and Get on
By: Larry Bilotta
Imagine what your life would be like if you could just be yourself, without thinking twice about what other people think of you! Here are four quick tips that will help you learn how to accept yourself. Make these four things a part of your daily routine and you'll find people will judge you less and accept you more!
1. See Yourself as a Success
You're probably familiar with that little voice inside your head that tells you you're never good enough. Instead of letting that voice continuously judge what you didn't do right; focus on an actual moment in your life that makes you feel wonderful.
This could be a moment at your wedding, the birth of your first child, or a great victory you achieved. Picture it as if you were living it all over again. Right before you think of this moment, say these words: "You know what this (say the bad feeling you are having right then) reminds me of? It reminds me of the time...
Then remember or in essence "live out" your great moment. End the moment with the words: "That's what this reminds me of." This is exactly what Olympic athletes have done for years to increase their physical performance. They see it first in their imagination and then they reach their goals.
2. Restore Your Self Confidence
The second key to getting over your need for acceptance is self-confidence. Confidence is the result of how you see yourself in your imagination. The way your nervous system makes you feel is the direct result of what's going on in your imagination.
That's why when someone describes a great meal; you begin to salivate even though there is no actual food in reality. To your nervous system, this "food" is more real than actual food itself. Since that's the case, just think what would happen if you imagined yourself being successful and confident?
When you see confidence in your imagination, your nervous system believes you are confident which changes the vibes you give off. People will treat you better because they can feel your success and want to be around it. THIS is what actually makes you stop worrying about what others think of you. Those days of wishing someone would take an interest in you can now be ancient history.
3. Find a Career that Truly Fits "The Real You"
This step may seem like it has no connection to the previous steps, but it goes hand in hand with learning how to accept yourself. An easy way to build your self-confidence is to do what you truly were meant to do in life. What are you passionate about? What have others told you you're good at?
To learn exactly how to do this, there is no better book than What Color Is Your Parachute? By Nelson Bolles. Just go to amazon.com and type the name of the book in the search box to find it. Match your talents to your career and see your confidence begin to increase every day!
4. Get "Back to the Basics"
Most people are not sure what happiness really is. Many say that money would make them happy. But it's not money at all. People don't want money! They want what money can BUY. They remember that buying new things makes them feel happy, but this is only one form of happiness. True happiness comes when you can make a difference in the life of another person and realize how much it meant to them.
Lending someone a helping hand not only brightens their day, but you will be able to reap the effects of, if only for a brief moment, true happiness.
Now that you know how to gain confidence by focusing on a positive memory instead of the negative voice inside your head, you'll be able to give off the vibes that ATTRACT people to YOU. Instead of wishing and hoping for approval, you now know how to accept yourself by giving people what they need; a confident person who not only looks for the good in them, but also shows them how to see it too.
Copyright © 2005 Larry Bilotta
About Larry: Larry Bilotta, the nation's leading authority on understanding people, has been helping people build their self esteem, reduce their stress and improve their marriages for over 12 years. To discover the secret of how to instantly eliminate painful feelings, stop dwelling on your problems, and START feeling better about yourself, get your FREE 7-day email course on how to overcome your negative feelings in 20 seconds by going to http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/selfesteem.html